The First Act or THE ORIGIN OF MANIA
by c.w.billingsleyv
Summary: The unheard origin of Kreig and Tiny Tina.


Doctor Samuels Log #6001

Samuels: This is Dr. Samuels recoding interview 6001 with the Pitchford family.

Tabbatha: Let us go you bitch!

Samuels: Please Mrs. Pitchford, if you co-operate -

Tabbatha: Fuck you! You kidnapped us. You had that creep kidnap us. You let him touch my little girl!

Samuels: I understand, but know you were never in any danger. Our liaison had specific instructions not to hurt-

Tabbatha: Fuck your special instructions! I swear if I get hold of anything sharp I will carve my name into your soul!

Samuels: Ma'am if you don't calm down I will have to call in security.

Tabbatha: Bring them. I don't fucking care! I will –

Tina: Mommy.

Kreg: Sweetie, please. Doctor, listen to my wife. She is a veteran vault hunter. She is not bluffing.

Tabbatha: These aren't bluffs Kreg. I will kill this bitch! I will force feed her her bones!

(Tina crying)

Kreg: Tabatha. Stop. Please. Doctor at least take my daughter back to the cell. She can't see my wife like this.

Samuels: Obviously this is not optimum, postponing interview for another time.

Dr. Samuels Log #6014

Samuels: So Mr. Pitchford, would you please describe again what your profession is.

Kreg: If I do, will you let my family go.

Samuels: If you co-operate, it will make things easier yes.

Kreg: Well yeah, I came here to do mining transport for the Daul Corperation. We were sent here to look for Eridium. But that job kinda fell through. Now I do transport for my wife. You know she is a vault hunter, now?

Samuels: Very good, now as a miner did you seen any of this Eridum?

Kreg: Yes.

Samuels: have you handled any of it?

Kreg: Well I wouldn't be a very good miner if I wasn't willing to touch a few rocks right. Ha ha ha.

Samuels: Right, well in that case I believe you have met on Mr. Oak?

(door opens)

Oak: Let me go you bastards! I swear to god, one more person lays a finger on me I am going to kill ever last one of you. You here that every-

Kreg: Oh god.

Oak: Kreg! Are you in on this too! Did you do something to make this happen? What the hell Kreg!

Kreg: Max, I swear that I don't have anything to do with this. They just kidnapped me and family-

Oak: They got Tabbatha, Jesus Kreg! You let them get her. Damn it man! You know what they do here. You know what they are going to do to her. Shit she doesn't deserve that. Christ, I knew you weren't good enough for her. You never were. And now this.

Samuels: Running Experiment on Subjects #347 and #524. Testing slag injections on subjects with previous exposure to Eridium.

Kreg: Wait, stop, you said if we co-operate you would let us go.

Oak: Kreg, you dumbass, no one gets let go. You are going to die in here!

Kreg: Oh god, get that thing away from me!

Oak: You are a weak Kreg, you always have been, and you always will be! I knew Tabbatha should have never married you. I knew you would fail her. Do you here me Kreg. Do you? Do YOU? DO YOU HERE ME? LISTEN TO ME! LISSSSTTEEEEEENNNNN TOOOOOO MEEEEEEEEEEE! AAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHGGGGGG!

(gun shot)

Samuels: Test complete. Result, subject #347 responded similar to the other subjects i.e. dramatically increased rage, and decreased control over cognitive functions.

Kreg: Oh god.

Samuels: But subject #524 shows no result. Interesting. Further testing required.

Kreg: Oh god.

Doctor Samuels Log #6023

Samuels: So Tina is your name then? Can I call you Tina?

Tina: …

Samuels: It's okay, you can talk to me.

Tina: Mommy said I shouldn't talk to you.

Samuels: Well it would be rude if you didn't I think, normally people talk at tea parties. Would you talk to me?

Tina: …

Samuels: Please.

Tina:…

Samuels: How about this, I tell you a secret. One secret. And if you want more then you have to tell me one.

Tina: …

Samuels: Okay, so you know Handsome Jack, well it turns out that under that mask. He isn't really handsome. He is actually really ugly.

Tina: …really?

Samuels: Yeah, I actually know what he looks like under there, I have seen it.

Tina: What's it look like?

Samuels: Uh uh uh. That is another secret. If you wanna know that, you have to tell me on.

Tina: Okay, umm well. I have one. But you can't tell anyone.

Samuels: Of coarse not.

Tina: Well I heard some other the men in the next room talking. My mommy says I shouldn't listen to them, but I do, and they say a lot of bad words. Some that I didn't even know.

Samuels: Like what words?

Tina: Like (whispers) Badonkadonk.

Samuels: (laughs) Oh my, that is a bad word.

Tina: (laughs too) Yeah, but I like it. Now you tell me what does Jack look like.

Samules: Well, his face is all messed up, he has a big scar, and is actually missing one eye.

Tina: Woooooow.

Samuels: Yeah but you can't talk about it. Because it makes Jack really mad, and then he gets scary.

Tina: My mom gets mad like that sometimes too.

Samuels: Really, I am sorry to hear that, does your dad get mad too?

Tina: Yeah, but he gets mad in his own way, so it isn't very scary.

Samuels: How do you mean?

Tina: Daddy says that he gets mad a lot, but at his job he can't get mad because he works for the law, and has to always do the right thing. So he says that whenever he is mad he just pushes it all deep down. So while other people might do dumb things or say mean stuff, he just hears a little mean voice in the back of his head. He said he has gotten that voice so quiet that he can't even here it sometime.

Samules: Interesting.

Tina: Yeah, okay, now it is your turn.

Doctor Samuels Log #6091

Jack: Oh Sammy!

Samuels: Yes sir?

Jack: I was just doing a perusal of the new test subjects. Just to make sure that they were all getting nice and acomidated, when you know what I saw?

Samuels: No sir.

Jack: I saw this nice little family. Picture perfect. Mom, dad, little girl. I was almost touch until I realized that they had been here for a month! A month Sammy! Why aren't they slag induced psychos yet!

Samuels: Sir I swear I have been running test on the father, and it truly miraculous, he hasn't been effected by the slag at all. I think he is able to repress-

Jack: Sammy, I am going to stop you there. See I saw that family. I saw that man. I have see worms with more spine than he had. Actually literally because we were working on some threshers just next door. But that is exactly my point. There is no way he could resist anything. Now I am going to do another inspection in a week, and if you lie to me again. I will replace that family with yours.

Dr. Samuels Log #6135

Samuels: The following is an experiment performed by Hyperion enforcer, designation Edge. We are testing to see if we can trigger latent rage in Subject #524

Edge: Alright, latrine time. Unless you wanna shit in the corner of your cell, some with me.

Tabbatha: Tina, come. It's time to go to the bathroom.

Tina: But I don't have to go.

Tabbatha: Tina, don't do this again. We are going now.

Kreg: Tabs, if she doesn't have to go then she doesn't have to-

Tabbatha: Oh yeah Kreg? And what if she has to go later, what happens then? Huh?

Tina: Mommy!

Edge: No not you.

Tabbatha: What?

Edge: Back-up subject, you stay behind.

Tabbatha: But we have to use the bathroom.

Kreg: Please sir, this is ridiculous, my wife is right we need to go now.

Edge: I said, no.

Tabbatha: Says who? Huh? You? Who made you the conductor of the poop train? Huh? Tell me that!

(smack)

Edge : I said step back bitch! You will listen to me when I say something! And what about you huh buddy. I just smacked your wife. You better not do anything stupid you hear me!

Kreg: I don't think you should have done that.

Collector: Huh?

Tabbatha: You son of a BITCH!

Edge: Ahh! What the fuck, get off of me. Ah shit get off.

Tabbatha: Look at me you bastard! Look at me! I will pour pain into your soul!

Kreg: Sweetie, stop, you need to calm down. Please calm down.

Edge: Get off!

(another smack, then the sound of a revving buzz ax)

Tabbatha: (heavy breathing) AHHAHHAHHAHHAHAH! Fine! Tina back to the cell.

Tina: Yes mommy.

Samuels: End recording.

Doctor Samules Log #6203

Samuels: Commencing Slag injection on subjects supplied by the Hyperion liasion known as... ugh. Flesh-Stick.

Kreg: Don't worry honey, everything's gonna be okay. Baby don't look.

Tina: Daddy?

Kreg: Baby just look away okay. Okay. Lets do this now doctor. My little girl doesn't like needles.

Sammules: Commencing Injection

Kreg: Ergh

Sammules: Injection complete. Results. Negative.

Kreg: Alright baby, you can look again.

Tina: Daddy.

Kreg: You alright doc? You look kinda pale?

Samuels: I am fine.

Kreg: Well chin up, the weekend is almost here.

Doctor Samuels Log #6306

Kreg: Wait no, you still need to test on me. You haven't made any progress. Let my wife go. I have been co-operating. I have been co-operating!

Samuels: Commencing Slag injection on subjects #524 and #525 and #526

Tabbatha: Let us go!

Kreg: Come on. Just do it to me okay. I am the one that you want. Please let then go!

Tina: (crying)

Samuels: And you will swear you will act as a witness for me when I show Jack that this stuff does nothing to this guy.

Edge: You betcha sweet heart.

Kreg: Yeah just give it to me. Yes, me. Give me all you have- wait no!

Samuels: Test on subject #524 complete. Results negative.

Kreg: No! Stop give me more! I can take more!

Tabbatha: Sweetheart... remember that heavy, red rock I told you to hide in your dress? Pull the pin at the top, then throw it at the wall!

Tina: Mommy...

Samuels: Oh god how did she get that?

Edge: I don't know, just get me in there.

Tabatha: Just run, Tina! RuuuuuuuAGHHHHHH!

Samuels: Shit, shit, shit, shit!

Tabatha: Do it Tina do it now!

(explosion)

Edge: AHAHAHHAHAhhhahha!

Kreg: Oh no baby.

Tabatha: TIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNAA

Tina: Mommy, he was going to hurt you. I am sorry.

Tabatha: WHAT DID I TELL YOU TINA! WHAT DID I SAY!

Kreg: Doc! Stop her! Stop her please!

(bending of metal)

Tabatha: THE WALL! YOU HAD TO THROW IT AT THE WALL! YOU HAD TO ESCAPE!

Tina: I am sorry mommy, I will do better next time.

Tabatha: YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO TO YOU? YOU WEAK! STUPID! FOOLISH!

(more metal bending)

Tina: mommy…

Kreg: Honey, you need to calm down. Please you need to stop. Its my fault alright. Its all my fault. You were right. I should have stopped them! I shouldn't have gotten mixed up with flesh-stick! I should never have brought us here! Honey please!

Tabatha: IDIOTIC! PATHETIC! SPINELESS! BRAINLESS! PIECE OF MEAT!

Kreg: Tabatha! You are scaring her! Stop it Tabatha! I need you to STOP!

Tabatha: RAHRHAHRHAHRHARHAHRHA

(metal ripping)

Kreg: I have you! Sweetie look at me! Look at me! LOOK AT ME!

Tabatha: I WANT HER FLESH. I WILL TAKE IT BACK. IT IS MINE I WILL TAKE IT BACK!

Tina: Mommy!

Kreg: Tabatha! LISTEN TO ME! You have to stop scaring our daughter! Don't make me do this! Please we need you on our side. Please! I need you to rescue us! Care for us! Help us!

Tabatha: I WILL EAT THE WEAK TO FILL THE EMPTY HOLLOW!

Kreg: Ah!

(Thud)

Tabatha: ITS TIME TO FEED THE MEAT!

Tina: MOMMY STOP! PLEASE!

Tabatha: AHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAH

(revving buzz ax)

(screaming)

(revving buzz ax)

(woman gurgling)

(reving buzz ax)

(man crying)

(revving buzz ax)

Docotor Samuels Log #6669

Samuels: Commencing Slag injection on subject #524. Let the record show that this is the thirteenth official injection that test subject #524 has taken. Yet there has been no replication of the effects displayed in the fourth injection. Nor has the subject broken out his otherwise wordless depression. In my professional opinion nothing will happen unless Tina- I mean subject #526 is recaptured.

Kreg: groans something in audible

Samuel: Wait. Kreg what was that? Could you speak up. Please.

Kreg: …

Samuels: Oh Kreg. Kreeeeeg. Please Kreg. Please talk to me. Please.

Kreg: She was beautiful.

Samuels: What?

Kreg: She was amazing. She made me cry.

Samuels: You mean your wife?

Kreg: Her singing. Her singing touched my soul. She was the perfect diva of flesh and steal.

Samuels: Kreg?

Kreg: And I can't wait to see more. It is a good thing then…

Samuels: A good thing that what?

Kreg: It's a good thing that intermission is OVER!

(metal groaning)

Kreg: Its time the audience take their seats, and the actors to STEP BACK INTO THEIR FLESH!

Samuels: Oh my god.

Kreg: Curtains of BLOOD ARE DRAWN! AND THE HERO RETURNS TO THE STAGE!

(breaking of metal)

Kreg: ITS TIME FOR THE SECOND ACT IN THIS THREE PART MEAT PLAY!


End file.
